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Sunday, 12 September 2010

Hi De Hi Campers.

It’s been a week! No posts! What’s been happening? Loads of the same old shit! Footballers behaving badly. Politicians behaving badly etc etc I took my self away for a few days camping, been a few times over the last couple of months, a couple of days here and a couple there (Norfolk, Suffolk and The New Forest) just to get away from the usual hum drumness of life and it’s luxuries. Campsites, now they’re funny old places, or is it funny old people in one place? Stayed in one place and there was a couple of blokes in a tent opposite us, who seemed to spend the whole of the day and a half we were there sitting in their car. When we turned up they were in their car, we pitched the tent settled in, went for a walk for a few hours, then to the pub, got back and they were still in the front of the car, they were there when the sun went down, strange. Still , people go away to escape in whatever way I suppose. Or do they? Stayed at another site, might as well have camped in the central reservation of a motorway, the site was next to a main road. There were a couple of fields that weren’t adjacent to it, but when I asked about pitching the tent there I was told you had to be in The Caravan Club or some other organisation to have the privilege of a quite nights sleep. Anyway pitched the tent then sat down had a cup of tea and played guess the vehicle passing by. Vroooom!….Car! Vroom….Lorry! I looked around the site and once again was struck by the behaviour of some people. There was this one guy struggling to get his TV ariel erected while his wife was trying to get a wi-fi signal on a lap top. Getting away from things obviously means different things to different people. When I went away last weekend there was a family that came from The Jeremy Kyle Show, who only seemed to communicate to their children through shouting and swearing. Before we’d even unloaded the car there was a “FUCK OFF OUTTA HERE” then a “GET OUT” this was pretty much the tone over the next two days, it was quite amusing at times, especially when the old man got stung, I couldn’t workout who he was shouting “YOU FUCKING LITTLE BASTARD, GET OUTTA HERE” to, when all the children were outside playing, turns out it was a wasp “FUCKING THING’S JUST STUNG ME” I thought that was it for the camp site entertainment but on the second day a car came into the field, it stopped the driver got out and let his son drive, the kid only looked about fourteen. Didn’t think no more of it and carried on making a cup of tea, then there was the sound of a thud and a crash, I looked outside the tent, and the kid had driven the car into the fence that bordered the campsite, no one was hurt except me trying to stop myself laughing too loudly, still they’d have probably thought it was The Jeremy Kyle family. The new arrivals started unpacking there were no words said about the incident, it became apparent that these people were from a different social background, not only did they talk politely, they had a wicker picnic basket. I did wonder what the Jeremy Kyle Show Families reaction would have been had one of their children crashed their car. The fun didn’t stop there. A couple of hours latter the ‘posh’ family had driven passed me as I was walking across the field toward the farm take a piss in one of those wondrous chemical toilets where the smell burns yer eyes out., when I heard a screech of breaks and a scrapping sound. I looked down the lane to my left and saw the posh families car half way up a bank and the dad picking up the front bumper and putting it in the boot. I did chuckle. Camping it’s great fun and a good way to escape from life’s stresses’n’strains.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Brilliant piece of writing Nuzz. Still makes me chuckle everytime I re-read it.